Of all the firsts in our lives — the first day of school, the first day at the gym after not working out for almost a year — first dates must be the most nerve-racking of them all.
There’s so much inevitable expectation and curiosity that it can cloud our ability to relax and enjoy the experience.
Here are five tips on how to get more comfortable on your first date so you can really see if a second date is in the cards:
1. Don’t think of the goal as seeing if you click with someone.
Your goal is to have fun, not to immediately decipher if you ought to be with the person forever.
If you’re too focused on seeing if you have romantic compatibility with someone, you’ll end up trying to fill out your mental checklist and keeping score of the other person’s traits instead of responding to your date emotionally and naturally.
2. The other person could be anything to you.
Keep in mind this person doesn’t have to end up being your significant other. He could become a friend, a workout buddy, a mentor.
Consider the person’s significance in your life is limitless and be open to what he could have to offer you.
“Showing your date you’re
excited will open him up.”
3. Do something you like.
When we hang out with our friends, we tend to cater our time spent together to please both parties.
While this is normal and considerate, doing something with a new person tends to yield a lot of indecisiveness in the name of coming across as open to anything.
Take a little initiative and suggest an activity you love doing. Now you’ll be comfortable to show (rather than tell) the other person something about yourself.
We don’t mean a secret your best friend swore she’d take to the grave, but we do mean a detail about yourself that’s individual to you. This helps take the edge off of that feeling that you’re two strangers.
It also encourages the other person to open up as well.
5. Be excited to listen to your date.
The other person is nervous too, and showing your date you’re excited to hear what he has to say will open him up and make the environment more comfortable.
In turn, that will ease your nervousness and let you to see your date’s true self.